My first year with twins; time

I have NONE!!!

So I had really high hopes for writing every day last week - that didn't happen! I had presents to make the Chiklits for their big day (and I didn't even get all of those finished.) I had something I wanted to make them for Valentine's Day (ditto). I'm gonna have to figure these things out in the future b/c they don't understand this year but next year they will! It's not like they didn't get any other presents but the special ones that I made myself weren't all, completely ready in time. And this all b/c I was preparing for a 16 person, 1st birthday party. That would probably take any normal person a day (or less) to prepare for - it took me a week, right up to the minute family started to arrive.

I recently read a blog post about being a hands free mom and I guess it's a good thing that I barely have time to figure out where my phone is during the day. Although the down side of this is that the 3 hours I spend with hubby, at some point we are both checking things on our phones. Need to work a bit more on the QT.

And it's funny b/c my days are busy from the min. I wake up but when I think back I can't figure out for the life of me why I can't get anything done! A typical day consists of getting up, dressing the Chiklits, giving them breakfast; while I'm feeding them breakfast I'm juggling trying to get the dishes from the night before into the dishwasher and some days getting a crock pot dinner going. Then we clean up and I let them play in their room for a bit so I can vacuum the floors (yes, I've become a bit OCD about this and I'm trying to be better by only vacuuming every other day! LOL) and clean up their breakfast messes. If it's nice we all walk the dogs, if not I run them around the yard. We play, read, run errands, wherever the day leads us. Then it's already lunch time! I get the girls their lunch, try to eat a little something myself finally and then get them cleaned up and play a little more. They go down for naps and I shower and head off to work. I'm home 4-5 hours later. We have a little family time - play with the girls for a little while, have a dance party, or we give them a bath. I get them ready for bed, give them their bottles, and read them a book; while DH is walking the dogs and getting dinner together if I didn't that morning. Then DH and I finally have our dinner and watch some TV. Then off to bed he goes and I have the wee hours of the night to myself - where I either write a blog post, send emails out, or create. And so I've been failing miserably at my New Year's resolution of getting to bed by 1am. I just need those few hours for "me".

I haven't had a chance to read a book in MONTHS. I need to figure out running again. Once it's nice enough again (actually I can't complain at all, it's been the mildest winter of my entire life and there were many days I could have gone running but instead I take the dogs for a long walk b/c they deserve it after being cooped up for a few not so nice days.) I also need to find my motivation, once I'm up for it again we'll re-add that to our morning routine. I just need to figure out fitting in eating somehow first.

Phew, after all that it just sounds like a whole bunch of complaining, huh?! I don't mean for it to sound that way - I love my new busy, some days I just wish I could get more than a bowl of cereal in before heading off to work.

My first year with twins; where did they come from?!

As you can imagine the #1 question asked when we started telling people we were having twins was, "Who's side of the family does twins run on?" Now maybe this is just the scientist in me but really there is no possible way for the "man" to have any control over a woman having twins. I've in fact had a complete stranger tell me that fraternal twins come from the "dads" side of the family. When I hear things as ridiculous as this I just nod and agree. [I mean seriously, what does the mans sperm lure out a second egg???] But lucky for us there actually are 2 sets of twins on DH's side - one a second cousin, the other a second cousin by marriage. So this actually has given us the advantage of telling complete strangers, "Yes, twins run in the family" and it's also been a good cop-out at times when we weren't comfortable to say, "No, they are IVF" to those asking.

It's actually really amazing how telling someone you had help getting pregnant can make them really uncomfortable! And there are even people who think IVF is wrong (double middle fingers to those a-holes!) So I learned pretty early on to white lie (hey, there are twins in the family! And 2 sets even, so I feel that makes it even less than a white lie) and as time went on in my pregnancy to not even mention that I was carrying 2 babies. Some things strangers just don't even need to know. B/c as all preggo ladies know, everyone has something to say about it and add in the twin factor and oh my God!! And the last thing I wanted was to get the "sad eyes" after telling someone I had help. I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed and the last thing I was looking for was pity. Hell, I was super excited to be carrying twins - share in my excitement!!

It's really frustrating how ignorant and closed minded people can be! But I guess one can only understand if they were in a similar situation. [Except those uber-religous freaks.] If you asked me at the beginning of our infertility journey if I'd ever consider IVF I would have said no! I vaguely knew of all the shots I'd have to give myself and I couldn't imagine doing that! And frankly I didn't think I'd need that much help. But as we went through each step in the infertility ladder and things were not working the desperation set in and I'd have tried anything!! Especially b/c I knew I could get pregnant; I had been twice unsuccessfully already! So when the day came that the call was made and all the medicine showed up at my doorstep I learned to give myself shots because I wanted to be a mom more than anything! The first days it took me a few min. of pep talking myself and a lot of sweating but as time went on it was just a normal part of my daily routine. And I'm not sure I'd be a positive spokesperson of IVF if it didn't work or if I had to go through it multiple times before it worked b/c I know the disappointment of taking a negative pregnancy test month after month and I can only imagine how depressing it must be to get that phone call that your blood test came back negative after all that! Besides that IVF is the end of the road. But thanks to all the wonderful Dr.s that took us through this wild ride, I only had to do it once and what an awesome outcome we ended up with!! I can't say enough good about all of my Dr.s and I have a very special person who helped me emotionally through this journey by having paved the road before me herself. She gave me courage when I needed it and pepped me for procedures before I had to have them so I was able to go in a little more at ease. And I can only hope that having had to go through all this myself that I too will be able to be someones rock in the future.

And one day in the very far future I want my girls to know about our journey. I feel like I have a very different connection and appreciation for them b/c of our adventure. [No, I'm not saying I love them more than a mom that got pregnant naturally loves her kids. But it's definitely a much diff. experience that brings with it different emotions.] There are no words for how grateful I am!

Not many people know what their babies looked like at 5 days old. Love at first site!

My first year with twins; singleton evny

There are days when DH and I still say "I can't believe we have twins"! Considering we went through what seemed like hell and back it really is pretty unbelievable I did carry twins and to 38 weeks at that! And despite my title and what I am going to say in this post I feel I need to write in a disclaimer: I would change NOTHING!!! I can't even imagine life without both of my daughters. I feel like one of the luckiest people in the world to be in the multiple moms club. In fact before going through my IVF treatments I bought a fertility necklace from La Belle Dame and made a wish upon it that I would have twins. And I did not take that necklace off until the day I was put into labor. [I won't even get into my superstitions!]

That being said, while I still feel as lucky today as I did the day we got to leave the hospital with TWO babies, I do find at times I have some singleton envy. It takes me some courage, a lot of planning and a minimum of an hour to leave the house with 2 babies to do the simplest tasks. If I also want to be showered beforehand that's another 15 min. [Typically I say screw it, throw on a hat and worry about myself during naptime.]

For example I've started taking the Chiklits to the library for story time, it takes me an hour and a half to drive 5 min. to sing some songs and hear a story in 20 min. And thank goodness there is a story time at 10 & 11am b/c we'd never make it for the 10am story! I had wanted to start taking them to story time during Christmas break, I finally started going mid-Jan. - it took me almost a month to work up my courage to actually bite the bullet and just go.

Grocery shopping - only have attempted a full grocery shopping trip twice in a year!! I am not a fan of grocery shopping as it is and carrying a kid on your back while entertaining the other in the carriage while doing something I loathe isn't my idea of a good time.

Carter's childrens clothes store - made one miserable trip there with the double tandem stroller, never again! What childrens clothes store is not made for a double tandem stroller to fit through the racks?! And don't even get me started about the set of doors you need to enter through that aren't automatic! This single experience has made me have to pre-plan any shopping trips I want to take with the Chiklits.

Target & Joann's are two of our favorite places other than of course the great outdoors which is our #1 favorite hangout spot!

On some days, I just think, how simple it must be to get only 1 baby ready, into the car and popped into a carriage. And the single stroller envy I have! All single strollers are so nice and small and sleek, cute even... There is nothing "cute" about a double stroller besides the 2 kids strolling around in them!

Never mind how many more diapers we go through, how much harder nursing was, how much less sleep we got during those first months of feeding around the clock, how much formula we go through in a week...$$$$$

And I am learning or am told there are some things singleton parents can be jealous of us twinkie moms for: starting and finishing your family in 1 shot, being on the same schedules, the comfort the twins have due to simply having a twin, being through all the stages at or around the same time, being in the same activities. Typically you'll hear a singleton mom tell a twinkie mom, "I don't know how you do it!" I know I prefer hearing this. I'm pretty sure if I got a, "You have it so easy" comment someone would end up with a black eye! Let me be the one to tell you it's not so bad!

I will admit there were two things I was seriously freaking out about (other than how the hell are these kids going to get out of my body?!); how was I going to love 2 infants as much as they needed and be able to pay equal attention to both. These were the only things that were upsetting me about having twins. I really wasn't sure how I was going to be able to be "fair". What was I going to do when they were both crying for my attention at the same time?? All I could think was that infants need so much of your time and attention and I'm not wonder woman. But like all things twin related you just do! I learned very quickly these fears were ridiculous!!! I have more love than I knew possible for both of them. And they each get as much of my attention as they need. Besides that they are very helpful by being 2 of the best babies on Earth! And it's actually probably better that I have to share my attention and affection b/c I'm pretty sure if I had a singleton I'd have been a smother-er and ended up with a stage 10 clinger. As it is I'm pretty sure I do a fair amount of smothering V & H! Now that they are getting older DH and I will start having some special one on one dates with them. I look forward to those since most days it seems I have a twin on my hip, one clinging to my leg and the dogs running circles around the 3 of us!

Phew, that was a lot of writing...if you got this far here is your reward!

My first year with twins; bedrest

I can NOT even believe we are already coming up on a year of the birth of our Chiklits this week! And what better time to take a stroll down memory lane and share my thoughts on the past year. I will hold back nothing; poop, breastfeeding...so if this is TMI for anyone this is your fair warning now!

I felt it appropriate to start with being put on bedrest for 14 weeks! Yup 14 LONG ONES!! I'm not one that's a fan of resting for very long, let alone laid up on my back for more than a few days when I feel totally fine! Besides the total shock of being told this was my outcome at 24 weeks preggo! I probably went through every emotion imaginable. Shock, confusion, anger, pity, a little depression, and even glee toward the end when we were getting pounded with snowstorms and I was getting uncomfortable from carrying 2 babies!

My awesome friends and family kept me entertained with phone calls and visits and without those I may have slipped into an all out depression! At the time I didn't even have any interest in anything besides laying on the couch and drowning out my days with TV talk shows, Days Of Our Lives, and sitcom re-runs. I wasn't even interested in reading which is one of my all time favorite things to do.

Looking back now I see all the things I could have done with all that time I wasted away [I know, I know it wasn't wasted, I was incubating two babies to a healthy gestation period - which is thus far the most important thing I've ever had to do in my life]. But boy, all the knitting and crocheting I could have done to get my Etsy shop underway. I was just too deep into a funk that I couldn't see outside my fog. It probably would have been an excellent time to journal or blog as well but like I said, all my usual interests were no where to be found.

And I'm not sure what would have happened if I went against the Dr.s orders but I'm forever grateful to them for putting me on bedrest (even though, at the time, it was 3.5 months of hell for me) b/c while we had ourselves prepared for every situation possible for their births our outcome was exactly what every parent wishes for. And in retro-spec I should be grateful for the 14 weeks of R&R b/c I'll never have that again! And it was totally worth it!

January in photos

This last week I've been really busy making a growth chart a dear friend asked me to make. More of this later in the week...but I'm super happy with how it turned out! I hope her and her husband are as well.

With that being said...I did not make a bag this week :-( I'm hoping to get 2 made this week but that's not looking good either. I'm sure I'll make up for it in the coming months as I start preparing for the big craft fair I'm doing in June.

And the next two weeks I really want to dedicate to getting the Chiklit's I-Spy quilt made as well as their rag dolls and to get a good chunk of their photobooks done as well. So it's looking like it's going to be quiet in the Etsy shop until after Valentine's Day now.

As for my photo-a-day project. I wasn't that thrilled with my outcome and I missed 2 days. But I have a handful of pictures I'm happy with. Still trying to get the hang of being creative about what pictures to take and actually taking them and then figuring out what pictures I have b/c I'm taking pictures with my iPhone as well as 2 diff. point and shoot cameras so getting all the pics together at the end of the day (or week as I've been trying) has been a bit of a bitch. I really need to pick 1 camera. My phone is easiest since it's pretty much always with me but it's not great quality. Maybe my request for the newest iPhone will help this issue out if DH grants my wish. Although I saw this beauty at Target over the weekend and I think I am in love....

And I'm totally a Cannon girl! I'd give up the new iPhone for this beauty! Perfect for me...I really want(ed) a DSLR camera in the near future but I'm in no hurry to have one b/c I simply just don't have the time to learn to use it to it's full functionality and what is the use of having such a great camera if I'm only going to be able to shoot in auto mode?! Besides the expense of all the fancy lenses. This Nikon 1 makes it all very simple so I wouldn't have to worry to much about doing all the research and learning. And it has some fancy (and cheaper) lenses of it's own. And the size is another perk! So we'll see....it's on my wish list. And actually DH owes it to me for a bet he lost the other night...but I won't hold him to it! I still have some more looking into things to do before I make such a big request.

This months favorites:


















Can't beat ending Jan. with 52 degree weather! Polar opposite of what last January was! Our poor Earth, I just hope she holds up for my Chiklits and their Chiklits and their Chiklits.... You'd think this mild weather would help my running motivation. NOPE! That's for another day...