Shame on Mommy

Today I was searching and searching and searching for a pair of sneakers for the chiklits for the coming months. And at first I was going to get New Balance and then as I was roaming around on Zappos I fell upon Nike's and those quickly lead me to Puma's and before I knew it I was stressing out b/c I wanted a good light weight sneaker that would go with all outfits (ie. white sneaks) and I didn't want them to both have the same exact sneak if I could help it. And I found there was an abundance of white and pink sneakers but I was having a hard time finding a white and purple sneak. So I wasted all of naptime with this search. I continued searching a bit more tonight b/c once I decided I was going to get them Nike's I was determined to find a white and purple pair even if that meant buying from two diff. websites. And of course I was trying to find them at the cheapest I could possible get them - none of which were under $40; which to me is a steep price to pay when V's feet have already grown an inch and a half from the time she turned 1 to now (6 months!!)

I'm not quite sure when I finally came to my senses and started thinking of other stores like Payless, and then Target popped into my head. So I perused over to their site and within 2 min. I found sneakers for the girls. The same sneaker that came in both white/pink and white/purple - exactly what I was searching for all afternoon! And with my Target card I saved $2.50 and got free shipping!! Two pairs of sneakers for $47 vs. $80! Sounds good to me.

And after the fact all I could think was "what the hell came over me?!" That is so NOT like me to immediately think of and go right to the top name brands. 95% of the chiklits clothes are consignment or hand-me-downs. I could care less about labels, for myself and esp. for them. I had to put myself in check. It's SO easy to get wrapped up in the non-sense. It's a good thing I have twin girls b/c I think very easily I could have gotten out of control with things esp. shoes, coats, and other accessories! Shoes are the only thing I won't purchase used for them but that doesn't mean they need the $40 pair of mini Nike's (that are super adorable) that they are going to grow out of in 3 months! At the rate V's feet are growing she'll be sharing my shoes sooner than I know it!

But most of all I was so disappointed in myself. What kind of example was I setting for my girls?? If I set the precedent that high this early I'll have to get a part time job just to afford all the "things" my girls are going to think they need.

I was even more beside myself b/c this weekend I had a big eye opener when I saw my sister's SIL's and learned about this absurd company called Justice and learned that at 6 years old kids know the different from the waaaay to expensive Justice vs. any other store as well as 2 pairs of sneakers that are exactly the same except one has a label written on it's velcro strap and the other does not. Price difference: $13 vs $60!! The last thing I want is for my 'lil chik's to start thinking and seeing things that way. I'm sure it's inevitable that at some point they will but as with everything else in life I want to keep them sheltered for as long as I can.

My first year with twins; breastfeeding

I know the twins are well over a year and haven't had breastmilk in 9 months now but I read this blog post today: http://www.merelymothers.com/2012/07/15/guest-post-breast-milk-in-a-bottle/ and it just makes me nuts-so! Besides all the other stuff in the news and media recently about breastfeeding.

Here goes my rant on breastfeeding....

I'm not sure if I had a different experience because I had twins who weighted 5.3lb. & 4.5lb and I just needed them to gain weight (although regardless of how big your baby is when it's born isn't weight gain the goal for everyone?!) Knowing twins were on the way and knowing that not everyone is able to breastfeed for multiple reasons I went in with a very open mind - I would try to breastfeed but ultimately I would do whatever I needed to do to make sure my chiklits were getting the nutrition they needed.

Turned out I had a snapping turtle (seriously that's what one of the nurses who helped me while we were in the hospital nicknamed V.) And she ruined my nipples immediately. But I sucked it up and waited for it to get better. EVERYONE said you just have to get through the first 2 weeks and then it's better. So for those first two weeks my poor nipples went through the ringer! Every 3 hours I would nurse V, pass her off to Dave for a couple more ounces of formula (because we were so paranoid they weren't getting enough to eat), nurse H, pass her off for a few more ounces of formula, pump for 15-20 min. to "trick" my body into making more milk so I'd have enough for both kids and we wouldn't have to do the extra bottle after nursing anymore.

Well 2 weeks went by. My boobs were SO confused because I was making more milk than the girls could take at one feeding (thanks to my "tricking"). I was so full come feeding time the girls couldn't even latch on. Dave had to go back to work so there was no more help around the clock for me. And so it just made more sense for me and my poor, sore, ripped up nipples to solely pump and be able to bottle feed 2 kids at once. Which even ended up saving me a little bit of time by cutting down 2 feedings to 1 [or really 4 feedings to 1 because we no longer needed to do extra bottles.] I still had to spend the time pumping and cleaning all the supplies each time so I probably came out even in the end but it's just what made sense to me at the time. It worked. It made me more available. It made me less stressed about having 2 hungry kids at once and only being able to feed one (although by this point I had mastered nursing one while bouncing the other with my foot.) It made me more comfortable leaving the house because I could work around my pumping schedule and bring along a couple bottles. I never felt ashamed or like a failure for my decision to stop nursing. I was just so happy to still be able to offer them my milk which was always my ultimate goal - I could care less how they were getting it.

While I did very well making enough milk for both at times I did need to supplement with some formula and again I didn't feel ashamed or like a failure or like I was feeding my kids poison. I was a formula baby and I am very healthy, have no allergies, good eye sight, did well in school, etc. and based on my decisions for wanting my girls to have breast milk (health benefits & saving money - formula is freakin' expensive!!) I felt I had a good track record being a formula baby, so I knew they would be fine as well. Regardless of what the Le Leche people preach to you while you are in the hospital and in all the breastfeeding books you try to read for any help once you get home.

Even though I went through all of this I guess I just don't understand why moms put this extra pressure on themselves. And why it's so hard and such an issue when mom and baby can't get nursing to work that they push and fight to make it happen. Feeding is a pleasure, it's something that should be enjoyed, there shouldn't be any stress involved and so for me the decision was obvious. And we were all happier for it.

And when the time came that they were napping less during the day, sleeping longer at night, and "busier" with crawling and scooting around and I was only getting a meal and a half a day in I knew it was time to unplug the pump. For the first time in my 'baby feeding' experience I was a little upset, even though I knew at that point there had to be more nutrients in the formula than in my milk. They were 8 months old and I had another couple weeks worth of milk frozen and while I was so happy to no longer be a slave to the pump I wondered if I had tried harder if I could have taken them through their first real winter with breast milk. But as I started to get the rest of my life back that thought became fainter and fainter and my girls made it through their first real winter on formula and the organic food I was home making for them and they did just fine.

Which brings up the end of my rant - people who nurse past a year. I know in other countries not weaning until 2-4 years is the norm and currently with all the hype on nursing in the US that may be our norm in the future. And how long a mom nurses is totally up to her and I don't care either way. I just find it irritating when a mom will pride another mom for breastfeeding for so long. If you want to nurse your kid 'til they are 4, power to you but I'm not going to compliment you on it. There's enough pressure in the breastfeeding world, no one that had their heart set on breastfeeding and had trouble wants to hear about the mom nursing past 12 months. And really if you made it past 6 months nursing you don't need the support! You and baby have it all figured out - you hit the big nursing milestone and for that I will congratulate you because it's not as "natural" as everyone tells you it is. And it's BS when they say if it hurts you're doing it wrong - it just f'ing hurts until your nipples callus and then I suppose it no longer hurts (I can't confirm this because I never got to that point.)

Epic vaca 2012 - recap

So my photography skills are still not where I would like them to be and I just don't have the time to deal with photoshop right now or any time too soon. So these are all SOOC (straight out of camera). There are a few I'd like to tweak so hopefully in the future I'll get around to those but for now, it is what it is!

The whole gang

All the kiddos minus Henry (H was thrilled to be a part of this picture)

Fun in the sun/sand

H listening to Ben sing and play the guitar. As soon as he started strumming she sat right down for the show!

Best beach day! They had so much fun in their little watering holes that Dave dug for them

There was a full moon while we were there

Collecting rocks at Sunset Beach. My favorite beach!

They both loved licking the salt water off their hands.

One of H's 3 "looks that could kill" - she definitely got those looks and eye rolls from me I just don't know how she learned them. I either need to pay more attention to the looks I throw out or it's genetic!

Our last sunset on our last night.

We miss you already vacation! It was so much fun [although I could have done with a few less tantrums from H!]

We had perfect weather every day. We got to spend good, quality time with everyone. All of our kids got along. I got to run with friends every day. Dave FINALLY got to go para-sailing! We saw dolphins playing from the shore every day. Dave and I even got to sneak away one night to have ice cream all by ourselves - seriously best friends anyone could ask for!


Things that will be missed in 2 more years:
- Kye using the third person

- Almost half of the kids still not able to talk {lol}

- Naptimes

- Toppings fro-yo shop

- The big front porch

- Sunset beach

- The awesome outdoor shower


Funny memorable moments:
- Playing Five Seconds: Al and Taryn got 'name 3 major league ball parks'
Al, "Yankee Stadium" (pause)
Taryn looks at him, "Yankee Stadium"
Al, "Fenway" (pause)
Taryn looks at him, "Fenway"
(time is now up), Al, "Why do you just keep repeating me??!" (frustrated after losing another sports related card)

- Kylan being locked in the closet.
Al went to check on the 'big kids' and Kylan. After asking, "where is Kylan" he was told by George, Caroline, Brynn, and Braeden, "he's in the closet"!
Apparently they had all taken turns going in the closet and Kylan not knowing any better wanted his turn. Unfortunately for him he was too small to let himself back out like the others.

- George telling Brynn and Caroline, "I know how we can make this fair" when interrupting a conflict of interest the girls were having over making head bands.

- George (telling one of the other kids), "he's cute, but he's NOT good" when referring to Kylan. When Lauryn went over to explain to him that, that was not nice to say, he simply replies, "see" while pointing at Kylan who had two fist fulls of Brynn's hair. Taryn says, "he only speaks the truth" referring to George's observation of Kylan!
Unfortunately for George, Kylan was a big fan of his hair as well! Kylan had a hard time resisting H's pigtails too!

**I know I missed a lot of things the 'big kids' said because I was busy dealing with H's temper-tantrums.**

- Ben to me at our last dinner (while he was talking yet again about romance and the lack of with kid filled vacations and I was likely rolling my eyes), "Have you read 50 Shades?"
Me, "No."
Ben to Dave, "Dave, you have got to buy her the 50 Shades books. Best 3 weeks of my life. Make her read them slowly, like only 10 min. a day." [Lauryn blushing]

- Kye batting his eye lashes.

- H shooting her 'evil death looks' to Robb, Ben, and even Dave one day.

- Kye's "ROAR", "ACH-COOO", and "Perrrrfeccctooooo"

- Brynn clogging the toilet

- V walking up and down the beach on our first day waving and blowing kisses to everyone like they were all there to see her.

- All the nice compliments from strangers about how cute or beautiful our girls are (depending on what they were wearing and how they were acting.)

- V force feeding me veggie straws and thinking it was so funny that she was feeding mommy when it's always mommy feeding her.


Things we wished didn't happen:
- 3 of the 4 cars had a kid throw up on the ride into CM.

- The entire 3rd floor of our house had air conditioning issues and lack of any cool air due to a bad storm that came through a few days prior and the electricity company putting a brown out in effect during the hottest week of the summer thus far. And while last trip everyone was small enough to sleep in the rooms with their parents this trip we actually needed to use the 3rd floor bedrooms.


Can't wait to figure out where to go in 2014!

Epic vaca 2012

We just got back from a fantastic vacation with a few of my good college friends and their families. Two years ago we started this vacation tradition and we hope to be able to do this every 2 years until FOREVER! :-)

I still can't believe in 2 years we've added 4 more kids to our big family! And last vacation I was just 7 weeks preggo and this vacation I was running after 1, 16 month old and doing my best to not lose my mind dealing with the other 16 month old's tantrums.

July 16, 2010


July 7, 2012
(Henry - 8 months old, missing from photo due to naptime)
* Note: H is NOT happy and Brynn and George are not thrilled with her tantruming right next to them either!

To say it was a different vacation would be an understatement! The only things that didn't change was how much fun we had and the time we woke up in the morning. Which I know we are very spoiled with very good sleepers and I have always been SUPER grateful for this but I have an even better appreciation of their sleeping habits after spending a week with 3 families with a couple early risers (ie. 5:30am!)

While different, it was definitely nice to not be the only ones without kids this time around. I wonder if anyone will be adding any kids to our next vacation in 2 years?!

I have a ton of pics to go through since I'm still not the best with my photography skills. Hopefully I'll get to post them in the next couple days.

Blog fright

It's such a funny thing....

Throughout my day I have a million things going on in my head {crazy much?! Why yes, I am!} and then I sit down to write and it all goes blank. Happens.All.The.Time. I'm sure it doesn't help that it's 10 of 1am. Well I have A LOT to do tomorrow so I should try to stick to my bedtime for once!

The long road back

This past weekend I ran my first half marathon since V & H's birth. Actually it's the first half I've run since I did the Disney Goofy Challenge back in 2008! And the longest run I've done in 4 years. I took off a lot of time from running for baby bearing and now that my kids are here I've been doing my best to get myself back in shape with their help. And I think there's something to be said for (1.) training with a double jogging stroller and 2 growing girls and (2.) LOTS of mileage in the bank.

All of my coaches in both high school and college always preached, "mileage is money in the bank." And I can't say I was always a believer of this until this past weekend. Here's a peak into my Garmin watch, this is all the mileage I've put in (minus 1 or 2 runs that my Garmin died on) since my Chiklits were born:

Date:	Miles:	Time:	Pace:
6/12/2011	3.83	40:44:00	10:38/mi
6/18/2011	5.77	53:05:00	9:12/mi*
6/25/2011	7.17	1:03:00	8:53/mi*
7/9/2011	7.14	1:06:00	9:15/mi*
7/17/2011	6.22	58:16:00	9:22/mi
7/30/2011	12.98	1:57:00	9:03/mi*
8/11/2011	3.4	31:02:00	9:08/mi**
8/16/2011	4.41	39:34:00	8:58/mi**
8/18/2011	5.01	46:36:00	9:18/mi**
8/20/2011	3.16	26:40:00	8:27/mi
8/27/2011	10.17	1:33:00	9:10/mi*
9/2/2011	3.35	30:45:00	9:10/mi**
9/3/2011	5.81	51:35:00	8:53/mi*
9/5/2011	3.11	30:06:00	9:40/mi
9/14/2011	4.38	41:04:00	9:23/mi**
9/17/2011	5.75	49:27:00	8:36/mi*
9/21/2011	4.43	38:57:00	8:48/mi**
2/23/2012	4.24	46:46:00	11:01/mi**
2/25/2012	5.17	54:15:00	10:30/mi**
2/27/2012	4.34	44:53:00	10:21/mi**
2/28/2012	4.9	50:35:00	10:20/mi**
3/2/2012	5.68	54:57:00	9:41/mi**
3/4/2012	7:03	1:05:00	9:20/mi
3/7/2012	5.31	49:57:00	9:25/mi**
3/8/2012	6.32	1:00:00	9:38/mi**
3/10/2012	8.51	1:15:00	8:55/mi*
3/14/2012	5.31	49:36:00	9:20/mi**
3/17/2012	4.35	41:01:00	9:26/mi
3/19/2012	6.31	59:13:00	9:23/mi**
3/20/2012	4.38	41:13:00	9:25/mi**
3/24/2012	8.56	1:12:00	8:30/mi*
4/4/2012	4.36	43:18:00	9:55/mi**
4/14/2012	4.33	40:43:00	9:24/mi
4/15/2012	4.36	41:50:00	9:36/mi
4/16/2012	5.3	50:23:00	9:31/mi**
4/19/2012	4.38	40:48:00	9:19/mi**
4/20/2012	3.37	33:08:00	9:50/mi**
4/25/2012	5.3	50:32:00	9:33/mi**
5/6/2012	3.47	30:31:00	8:48/mi
5/7/2012	5.39	50:57:00	9:27/mi
5/9/2012	5.37	49:40:00	9:16/mi
5/17/2012	3.31	35:03:00	10:35/mi**
5/20/2012	5.3	53:45:00	10:09/mi**
5/24/2012	4.95	49:27:00	9:59/mi**
5/26/2012	5.31	50:06:00	9:26/mi
5/31/2012	5.31	50:56:00	9:35/mi**
6/2/2012	6.16	56:34:00	9:11/mi
6/7/2012	5.31	50:15:00	9:28/mi**
6/10/2012	6.27	57:31:00	9:10/mi
6/15/2012	5.31	52:22:00	9:52/mi**
6/16/2012	5.27	46:36:00	8:51/mi*
6/23/2012	5.32	50:00:00	9:24/mi*
6/24/2012	FFlD 1/2	1:49:47	8:15/mi***

* = running with my running group or other people
** = running with the double jogger

Fairfield Half officically online: 1:49:46 @ 8:23/mi pace.

So there it is! I was really freaking out about how I was going to do. I really thought I'd get in more training but we had so much rain in May and I never got in the 1, 10 miler I wanted so I honestly thought I was going to die in this race. So I went in with the mind set to run really relaxed with no pressure and that's just what I did! And I just happened to get lucky with a perfect day for me. Nice breezes, lots of shade, and rolling hills. The before-kids me would have beat myself up over a 1:49 half marathon but the after-kids me is pretty happy with myself. I think 1:49 is a good place to start out and now I can try to really start training to see how much I can improve in 4 months with a little extra work. So we will see...life is busy and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. But I have a few more summer races in mind that will hopefully keep me motivated to get in a couple more runs a week.

Missing writing

There are so many things I want to write about but I just haven't had the time to spare. I have my first vendor table as ChikNic at an event next Friday. So I've been sewing handbags like crazy. I'm averaging a bag every day and a half. And still have some loose ends to tie with other accessories I plan to bring as well as dozens of clippies to make! Ugh, it stresses me out just thinking about all I need to get done still.

And every second I spend on here should be used for sewing, cutting, or gluing. At the same time I've been trying as hard as I can in my 'spare time' to network on FB to try to get more people seeing the things I made so I can gain some new potential customers. Networking is a PT job in itself! So I have big plans after next Friday night: (1) take it a bit easier (2) get to bed a bit earlier (3) be better about networking (4) work on my Etsy site (5) play with my camera (6) write more!

Off to the sweatshop...back in 2 weeks!